The work

So, coming into my freshman year at Tech, I was nervous. But coming in as a freshman engineering student at Tech, I was even more nervous. I always knew engineering was going to be a hard degree to achieve; however, I underestimated the workload. In high school I did not do anything. I never studied; I rarely did homework, unless it was graded. I was a slacker but I was somehow able to get away with it. I came out of high school with a 4.3 QPA, which is not too bad considering the amount of work I never did. I enjoyed high school. I was out on the weekend with my friends. I attended all the football games, soccer games, and basketball games. School spirit was huge at our school so we went to all of these games, home or away. And when I say the school spirit was huge I mean that. At least one hundred of us would attend the away games and our student section was compared to colleges. We were big and we were loud. But my point is, I had time to do all of that. This past week at Tech has without a doubt been the hardest, busiest, and worst week of my life. I literally never got up out of my desk from Monday to Thursday. For me, the slacker in high school, this was really hard. I was beyond stressed out and it was obvious. Normally, I am happy and smiling and laughing. All week everyone came into my room asking where I was. For the past three weeks I have been hanging out with my friends every night. And then all of a sudden I was forced to be a hermit, or as they call it, a turtle stuck in my shell. They referred to my room as my shell and always told me to come out. Trust me, I wanted to, but I had no choice but to stay in there and get my work done. I am the kind of person that it is hard for me to have fun if I know there are things I need to do. So as the week went on, the stress took a harder and harder toll on me. I do not handle stress well, but then again, who does? But I handle it particularly bad. And on top of the stress, I was lacking in sleep and food. That is a lethal combination. I cried a lot all this week, trying to figure out what to do. I was not enjoying the work, and it was a lifestyle I realized I could not handle for the next four years. My goal coming to college was to meet as many people as I possibly could and that has been impossible so far because I have not had time to join clubs and participate in activities. I am a person who needs to be out and about and have that balance of work and play. I understand college is supposed to be hard and a lot of work, but it is also supposed to be fun and a time for you to discover yourself and grow up. I feel that is going to be very hard for me, being an engineering student. So after much consideration, I think I may switch majors. I’m not one hundred percent sure what I may switch to, but off the top of my head, math and chemistry come to mind. If I could pick any job in the world that I could never fail at and money was not an issue, I would pick brain surgeon or teacher. My parents pretty much told me I am not allowed to be a brain surgeon because I do not handle death well and that would be a big part of being a surgeon. My dad is a vet, and I see how hard he takes the death of an animal so I cannot even imagine what it would be like to lose a person. That responsibility is huge and I do not think I am the right kind of person for that job. So, I am left with a teacher. I want to be a stay at home mom when I start a family so being a teacher could also allow me to work and be a mom. You have weekend, summers, and holidays off and you work eight am to three pm on average. Perfect for a mom. My dream is to be a high school math teacher on the Upper East Side of New York City teaching at a private school. That sounds so fun to me. It is something I want to aspire towards. This week has taught me a lot about myself. I learned that just because I always thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, doesn’t mean you actually have to do it or that it is right for you. I learned that I am capable of anything I put my mind and time towards. It is just a matter of how much time I am willing to put towards it. For me engineering is something I could do, I just do not feel it is the right route for me to take. When I said college is supposed to be somewhere you grow and discover yourself, I guess I did discover myself a little this week. On Thursday I am attending the major fair Virginia Tech is having and I am hoping to discover myself even more there. Hopefully something will jump out at me and make me think, “hey, I want to do that.” I want to dedicate my time and effort towards something I actually want to do and engineering is not what I want to do. I just hope God helps me to lead a happy and healthy life no matter what I choose, but hopefully he will help me choose the right thing for me.